Work sucks ass. That pretty much sums it up. A team member told me today that he had found a new job and would be leaving next Friday(though he had yet to tell our boss). I called Rob and told him that he should expect me home around midnight this month end. He told me I should quit and I am sooo tempted, even with nothing else lined up but I just don't think I can do that. I love my boss and I know how stressed out he is over work and how many hours he puts in and for me to quit without a lot of notice just seems wrong to me. It's not that government is rocket science but I went into it completely blind and it took me a long time to get the hang of. And when I say long time I mean it took me getting yelled at and patronized from every single sales rep in the marketplace. And I know how my boss took a hit when he first started for something that had happened in government before I had started on it and before he had even been with the company, but because "someone" had to be held accountable it was on his shoulders. I really don't want him to have to go through that again.
But I have to think of myself too. I think half my anxiety has to do with this job. They are so quick to discipline/fire people even though we are severely understaffed that I'm always nervous everyday that I will do something wrong and get shitcanned on the spot. I hate entering that building. I can't stand it. The only saving grace is working with DD and Rose and sometimes K and R. And I'm so afraid of change that the thought of getting a new job sends me into a panic attack. I can't win either way!
Oh, and like I didn't hate my job enough, I have to work tomorrow. From EIGHT TO FOUR! ON A SATURDAY!!! It's mandatory. I can't take it anymore. It's like we aren't allowed to have a life outside of work. Can't make plans on Saturdays now because who knows when they are going to just declare that everyone has to come in. Well hire some fucking people and you won't have to be in this situation...and you wonder why everyone is quitting left and right?? oi vey.
The problem will be finding a job that isn't a pay cut.
So I talked to DD today and while she has a cold she said she is doing okay. She said the pain was less at first and seems to be getting worse but she wasn't that concern, she figured it was the process of healing and I'm sure she's right.
I will be going to pay her a visit tomorrow after work. I called Dre tonight and hopefully her and Madi will be able to come too. I know it would do DD a world of good to see them.
Kat, every time I try to email you it's getting kicked back...I'll try again tonight.
I cried to an episode of SATC tonight because I miss my girls.
I'm a sap.
9:11 p.m. - 2005-03-11
Recent entries:
This is now Romies journal - 2007-03-30
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